Sunday, March 4, 2007

Our elected representatives: Salt of the earth; Backbone of our country.

Blogmaster's (not recognized by spell check) note: The cybergods (not recognized by spell check) have deemed that I cannot have access to the internet (not recognized by spell check) for some indeterminate span of time. The reasons are unclear, but the lack of access is undeniable. Therefore, I am storing my new post (which follows this blurb directly) in an OpenOffice (gramatically incorrect, but recognized by spell check) document pending publication.(sorry Bill, but the preloaded Microsoft Office Suite they bragged about in the Presario (not recognized by spell check) ad turned out to be one of your phony-baloney 60-day trial versions and I'm not about to pay good money for the privilege of using something I thought I was buying with the computer. You're being uninstalled (not recognized by spell check) along with several other pieces of preloaded adware (not recognized by spell check).


I am blissfully unaware, and intend to remain so, of the minutiae surrounding and embedded in the world of American politics: national, state, local, whatever. That was one of the things I promised myself when I walked out the door of the Motherlode's News Station and of Radio in general one noontime a long time ago. I have never broken that promise. ( I have broken other promises: I still buy far too many DVDs and would buy more if I could get away with it; I spend an inordinate amount of time in the electronics department of any and every store I enter; and I have been known to stand at the HDTV display at Wall Mart for multiples of “a couple of minutes” while being paged in vain by my wife...well you get the idea.)
The foregoing notwithstanding, I have heard of, and intend to react to, the latest version of spine-challenged Congressional behavior to pop up along the 'ole beltway. I am referring to the time-honored “Non-Binding Resolution” on the Iraq war (pardon me, conflict).
It's election time, folks, and there isn't a double-speak, mealy-mouthed abomination that's off-limits from now until we get to the polls, so get used to it. We'll hear the PC clones in their most sincere tones of voice talking about how “concerned” and “appalled” they are. We'll hear a miriad of strong statements, all of which mean one thing: “I want to get re-elected” (or “I want to get elected” in Hillary's case).
Unless I am totally mistaken, a resolution is pretty much non-binding to begin with, especially if it's worded in accordance with the accepted language of, say, the U.N. But just to be clear, stalwart makers of the Law, let's call it a NON-BINDING resolution so nobody gets the wrong idea. After all we just want to “send a message”.
Certain questions keep coming to me as I listen to the statements and discussions of this “important” activity...questions like: “To whom is this "message" being sent?” (show of hands, those who know the answer), or “Why are these morons being paid exorbitant salaries with MY TAX MONEY to prance around spouting this crap instead of doing actual work?” or “Is this clown really going to retire with a pension that would make an Enron executive gag?” ('scuse me, former Enron executive, now sheltered from consequences because you can do any damn thing you want in this country if you're clever and ruthless enough...but better not be late filing your income taxes if you're a working slob with a family to feed) Is that a sentence? Do I digress?
Anyway, when I want to send a message I use email, a post card, a letter...any of which take a lot less time, and cost a lot less money than a non-binding resolution. I guess the disadvantage is that whoever gets that message knows specifically that it comes from me. (Am I being unfair? Let me know if I'm being unfair.) Does public office come with automatic deniability? And finally, Why doesn't my spell checker recognize the word “deniability”? Could it be a made-up word to justify certain...naw! They wouldn't do that (must be a Microsoft thing). But what do I know...I'm not a professional Citizen Legislator. I've never spent any time at the public teat. (Is this unfair? Am I being a Cretin?...Cretin-American?)
Once upon a time, there was a guy who worked at a grocery store. He came in each morning carrying his lunch in a brown bag. He sat down at the employees break table, took out his lunch, ate it, then sat for the next 7 and a half hours complaining about the job. He told all his fellow employees about how poor a job the owners were doing running the store. He had a complaint about every aspect of the operation, from cash register procedures to the way inventory was taken. By the time he finished complaining, moaning, groaning and rolling his eyes in meaningful ways, his shift was over. He got up, punched the clock and went home. He did this every day for several months, collecting a paycheck every month. After a while, many of his fellow employees agreed with him. They'd sit around in the lunch room nodding their heads and smiling, and telling him how right he was, and how terribly the store was being managed.
One day, the boss came into the lunch room and said to the guy: “You're fired. Get your stuff and get out.” The guy was stunned. Now he was out of work. How could this happen? How could he pay his XM radio bill? Woe was him.
Far fetched, I know...but hey! It's just a story. We all know that in the real world that kind of behavior is rewarded, because, after all we're the fellow-employees. We nod our heads and smile and vote for the guy, 'cause he just makes such a great speech. Doesn't he? Golly. Geewhiz. Sure. It's the American way.
Reminds me of the words to an old song:
“Our leaders are the finest men,
and so we elect them again and again,
And that's what I learned in school today,
that's what I learned in school.”
Oh, yeah. The truth is in the music, ain't it?
Affectionately,
Geezerguy.
(PS- Please pardon the un-pc use of the word "men" in the above quotation. The song was written in the pre-enlightenment period of American folk Music. -Gg)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

wow geezer guy you hit the head on the nail with that one ive never seen a loader more obnoxious and less meaningfull collection of pc retoric in my life then whats comming from the mouths of our ellected crybabies this year. i read your blog as often as i can and really enjoy it keep up the bloggifing(not recognized by spellcheck)
the lone duck.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Lone Duck-
I see what you mean about the spellchecker. Glad you like the log. More to com.
-Geezerguy

Parsley Words said...

Dearest Geezerguy (not recognized by spellcheck[not recognized by spell...oh, you get the idea!]),

I feel as if I must come to the defense of our elected officials. They were, after all, sent to Washington with a Mandate For Change (tm)! They are there because the American People(c) have become disgusted with the Status Quo(r) of politics! And we all know that the only way to usher in a New Era (tm)(c)(r)(sic) is to use Every Tool At Our Disposal (w) and Get To The Heart Of The Matter(~%^)!

If that means they pull out the old Non-Binding Resolution, than so be it! Who are we to question the leadership and wisdom of people with good hair, straight teeth (except for McCain) and excellent table manners? They are there for us! We put them there! And we are all better off with them in Washington, believe me! Why, do you realize that if they weren't there, they'd be right back home with you? Do you want that? Well DO you?

I didn't think so!

So I hereby enact the following (non-binding) resolutions:

RESOLVED (non-bindingly): That the United States as a whole, and the several states individually, are better off if all of their politicians are sent away for the duration of their elected terms.

RESOLVED (non-bindingly): That sending them away is such a good idea, we should consider sending them even FARTHER away.

RESOLVED (non-bindingly): Didn't the President say something about a manned flight to Mars in his State-O-Th' Union Address in 2006? Hmm...

RESOLVED (non-bindingly): I detect two birds, and one stone! Perhaps a plan is formulating...


Well, just a thought.



-Sage (non-binding) Words

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Geezerguy said...

Hi Sage(non-Binding)Words-

Thanks for your comments. On reflection, you may be right about our Pillars of Representational Government. I'll admit most of them do have straight teeth, and good, if not always original, hair. I would take some issue with the table manners comment, considering the infamous dinner with Kirk and company on the occasion of the negotiations with....oh, wait a minute...sorry, those were Klingons. It's not fair to compare our elected officials with Klingons. Klingons have the courage of their convictions, and actually stick to a predictable philosophical (or whatever) position.
Anyway, I was fascinated by your idea of a resolution, and it certainly appeared to have some merit. So I submitted it to a Blue Ribbon Committee that had nothing better to do with its time (you may think it would be hard to find a group like that, but actually they are legion), and they have sent me their first mark-up, prior to a preliminary, non-binding vote, which could...but would not necessarily...send the revised proposal to the full committee for further debate. Knowing your interest in the process of representational government, I hereby share it with you:

RESOLVED (non-bindingly): That the United States as a whole, and [replace with: “and/or”] the several states individually, are better off [replace with: “may possibly be at some advantage“] if all [replace word with: “some”, possibly “many”] of their politicians are sent away for the duration of their elected terms. [replace with: “for some period of time, but in no case shall the duration of said action preclude the full opportunity to return to their respective constituencies to campaign with full vigor for re-election to an additional elected term”.] (.note attempt to include the original wording, with some amplification, to clarify the intent.)

RESOLVED (non-bindingly): That sending them away is such a good idea, [replace with: “possibly a somewhat beneficial idea in some cases”] we should [replace with: “may possibly”] consider sending them even FARTHER (strike) away.

RESOLVED (non-bindingly): Didn't the President say something about a manned flight to Mars in his State-O-Th' Union Address in 2006? Hmm... [strike entire paragraph: cannot be verified by sufficient number of committee members, since most attended S.O.U. address on autopilot]

RESOLVED (non-bindingly): I detect two birds, and one stone! Perhaps a plan is formulating... [strike entire paragraph: requires cognitive ability beyond the scope of most committee members]

Just thought you'd like to know how it's going. You've restored my faith in the System. It really does work, doesn't it? By golly, I think I'll just run right out and VOTE tomorrow. Who needs an election? Just show me to a polling place. I want my little flag sticker.
Affectionately,
Geezerguy